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How to be more kind

8 April 2018

You can do all things with kindness, but you don’t have to do all things.

One of the most important things I’ve learnt in life is the importance of kindness. I think this is something instilled in me from my mum – I can’t imagine her ever being mean – and it has become more and more important to me as I’ve got older.

When you’re younger, petty maliciousness is kind of normal. As a teenager you can be very self-involved, and if things don’t go the way you wanted, you can lash out or look at “revenge” as a very appealing concept.

As you grow older you tend to realise that people’s actions are very rarely anything to do with you, moreso something inside of them. You just have to deal with life’s changes and adapt. Things happen.

I would consider my mum a very empathetic and non-judgemental person – generous with her time, always eager to listen and help. She is kind. I hope I’ve inherited some of those traits, and although I know I get wrapped up in my own little world, I do try to show kindness to those close to me, and others if I have the capacity to.

That’s not to say I don’t get annoyed or frustrated with things or people sometimes, I just don’t think there’s a need to take it out on people. I try to remember that people have their own bad days, they can’t read minds, and usually things will work out somehow.

A very important part of kindness, and one I am certainly still working on, is being kind to ourselves. I’ve spoken a little about my struggle with loving myself, and the most basic part of that is just being kind to yourself, instead of constantly focussing on (what you deem as) the negatives.

It is easier said than done, and I keep going off track, but I’m glad I have that urge to stop beating myself up; to be a friend; to be kind to myself.

I think the world would be a much lovelier place if we all showed a little more kindness. Here are a few simple ways to be more thoughtful and mindful:

• make sure you stop the voice in your head that constantly criticises you.
• remember to say please & thank you.
• compliment somebody (this can be yourself)
• reach out to loved ones who may be struggling.
• save them the best potato/last profiterole etc.
• tell someone how much you appreciate them & why.
• offer to help somebody.
• make a cup of tea for someone without them asking.
• listen to someone’s troubles without telling them what you think they should do.
• send supportive texts or notes in the post.
• donate to a worthy cause if you can (this can be money or your time)
• do something to help someone’s business/work, eg. social media shout outs.
• don’t ignore people in the street when they are asking you for help – if you can’t help, that’s ok, but they are humans and they deserve acknowledgement.

(thank you to Sarah Starling for some of these suggestions!)

How will you be kind today?